Ex-partner stalking and you're a cop

Open an incident log right now.

One file. Date, time, location, what happened, who saw it. Every entry from here on goes in the same place.

Screenshot everything from the last 24 hours.

Texts, DMs, call logs, voicemails, doorbell footage, any post that mentions you. Save originals with timestamps before they get deleted.

Tell one person on the job.

Partner, sergeant, someone you trust. Not as a report yet — as a witness who knows what is happening in case you need them later.

Notify your supervisor.

On-duty contact from a stalker creates a use-of-force and credibility risk for you. Get it on record before it becomes a problem.

If the ex is also sworn personnel, loop in IA early.

Internal Affairs handling a sworn-on-sworn stalking case wants to hear it from you first, not from the other side. Same goes for any joint-jurisdiction situation.

Pull your home and personal accounts.

Change passwords, kill old shared logins, check for tracking apps on your phone and car, revoke iCloud and Google location sharing.

File a formal stalking report.

Outside your own command if needed. The report is what supports a protective order and any future charges. Bring the incident log and the screenshots.

Start the protective-order process.

Most states allow emergency or temporary orders the same day. The clerk's office or your prosecutor's domestic-violence unit can walk you through it. Bring documentation.

Tell your chain of command in writing.

Email your supervisor and any threat-assessment unit. Short summary, attached log, what protective steps you have taken. Creates the paper trail that protects you on duty.

Run a free scan on yourself and household.

See the free scan. The scan shows which broker pages currently list your address — the same pages that hand a stalker your new place after a move.

Start broker cleanup across the household.

Your address, your parents, any sibling at a linked address. Brokers cross-reference relatives, so closing one record without the others leaves the trail open.

For NJ residents, file Daniel's Law demands.

See Daniel's Law. Covered officers, judges, and prosecutors get $1,000 per violation if a broker fails to remove within ten business days.

Vary your routine.

Different route to and from work for two weeks. Different gym times. Different grocery store. A stalker who knows your patterns loses them fast when you change them.

Push for criminal charges, not just the protective order.

A protective order is paper. A stalking charge with a clean log behind it changes the calculus. Your prosecutor's domestic-violence or threat-assessment unit is the contact.

Request a threat-assessment workup.

Many departments have a unit or contract with one. They evaluate escalation risk and recommend protective steps — including temporary relocation if warranted.

Federal channels if the contact crosses state lines.

Interstate stalking is a federal crime. The local FBI field office takes these when there is a clean local record behind it.

Continuous broker cleanup.

A one-time opt-out delays the listing, it does not end it. Most brokers re-list within 3-6 months. Continuous coverage re-checks every two weeks and re-files the day you reappear.

Break the new-address discovery loop.

When you move, the brokers usually have the new address within 60 days from utility records and change-of-address feeds. Continuous removal stops the listing before the stalker sees it.

Sweep the household every quarter.

Brokers connect you to parents, siblings, adult kids on the same record. Closing one address closes the others. Quarterly review catches re-listings before they propagate.